5 Ways The KARAOKE Channel’s Mobile App Can Save the Day

Karaoke:  The word itself can sometimes instill images of bar stools, pitchers of liquid courage, inebriated patrons singing inebriated tunes with inebriated pipes.  Huge, bulky, boom box technology also comes to mind, pumping living rooms full of instrumentals as aunt Mildred belts out Sweet Home Alabama.  Children weeping tears of embarrassment while the adults suddenly take up smoking and step outside.  The truth of the matter is that karaoke is a side-splitting good time enjoyed by millions across the globe, and thanks to the ever-evolving advancements in karaoke technology, singers are no longer restricted to bars or aunt Mildred’s living room and can now easily download karaoke songs with the touch of a finger.  Yes, thanks to The KARAOKE Channel’s new mobile application, your favorite music, complete with scrolling lyrics can be generated from the palm of your hand, giving anyone with an iPhone or an iPod touch the power to transform their world into a singing extravaganza, one song at a time.

The following are ways in which The KARAOKE Channel Mobile app can save the day.

Save Christmas

karaoke_chritsmas_tree

There’s nothing left of the Christmas turkey but broken wish bones and a week’s worth of sandwich shavings, eyelids become heavy as the conversation dwindles, the old begin their migration towards the television sets while the young begin their migration towards any open bars in the neighbourhood.  Well not anymore.  An easy and fun way to keep everyone together will be to whip out your iPhone, fire up this karaoke app and you’ll transform the awkward post-turkey fade-out into a Christmas carol-apalooza for the whole family to enjoy.

Save Money

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Along with treading water in shark-infested oceans, singing in front of a room filled with strangers has always been a great fear of mine.  This won’t stop me however.  I usually require several dozen spirits to get me into the singing spirit, and this can become extremely expensive over time, not to mention the damage my liver must endure to get me to the microphone.  Meanwhile any decent karaoke machine intended for the privacy of your basement can run you anywhere from $100 to $300 (you can probably find cheaper, but remember, I said “decent”).  This karaoke app (which already happens to be cheaper than any other karaoke app on the market by the way) will only run you a grand total of $0.99!  Imagine, for less than the price of a mocha-java-frappa-wrappacino, you’ll have access to 50 songs, and for an extra $2.99, suddenly you’ll have 6000 of your favorite tunes to choose from.  With mobile karaoke your wallet and your vital organs will thank you.

Save Face

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If the fine folk from the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences ever dropped in on one of my sudsy shower singing sessions (try saying that ten times fast!) I’d have to rent a spare apartment for all my Grammy Awards.  We all sound amazing when we’re all alone in the shower, so why do we sound like wounded pigeons when singing in front of people?  Well for starters it’s terrifying to stand up and do anything in front of people, let alone to sing your little heart out.  You always run the risk of being laughed at, ridiculed, wet willy’d, or all of the above.  Truth be told, it goes against our survival instincts as a species to be outcast from “the group.”  Nervousness tends to make the stomach queasy, the palms sweaty, the voice shaky and feeble.  Kind tough to get through the song I Will Survive when your body is going through the fight or flight responses.

This is one of the reasons why karaoke bars with private rooms have become so popular.  Karaoke is a blast when you’re surrounded by friends.  They’ve grown up watching you make an ass of yourself, they gave up on judging you years ago.  But when these private rooms aren’t available and you still want, NAY, need to sing, this karaoke app is the ultimate solution.  Invite your friends over, stay in your PJs, heck throw a karaoke party in your bathroom where the acoustics make you sound like Brad Roberts from Crash Test Dummies.

Save Your Social Life

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If Dale Carnegie were still alive, he’d add a chapter to his best-selling book How to Win Friends and Influence People entitled:  Portable Karaoke Will Have Them Singing Out of the Palm of Your Hand.  With 6,000 songs at your fingertips, you’ll be the hit of every party, and you’ll turn all non-parties into parties, of which you’ll consequently be the hit of.  Imagine road trip karaoke, camping karaoke, waiting in line at the bus stop karaoke.  Eventually you’ll have so many friends, you won’t be able to tell who likes you for you, or who’s only digging you for your portable karaoke.  This is what’s knows in the biz as a “good problem to have.”

Save the Whales

Feed Me Please

There’s no doubt about it, the whales are in trouble.  Pollution, hunting, weapons testing, and just plain old humans-being-evil have all contributed to the drastic decrease in whale populations across the globe.  Well, portable karaoke can help to put an end to this my friends.  You might be asking yourself at this point “What on earth does karaoke have to do with saving whales?”  An excellent question, and the answer is quite simple.  If you’ll notice the title of this article is “5 Ways The KARAOKE Channel’s Mobile App Can Save the Day.”  You’ll also notice that up until this point, we’ve only produced 4 ways.  So if my mathematical calculations are correct, without a paragraph on saving the whales, you’d be justified in calling us liars.  So here we go.

iPhone and iPod touch sales are steadily increasing around the world.  Karaoke’s popularity is also on the constant rise.  So when you combine these two powerful forces, you are left with a very simple equation:

Amount of people with mobile karaoke app   x    time spent singing songs  =  less time available for hurting whales.

Thanks to mobile karaoke apps, we no longer have to endure campfire sing-alongs, where everyone thought they knew all the words to More Than Words, by Extreme, but in the end they can only remember the “knocking on the guitar” part.  You no longer have to worry about boring Christmas dinners, or blowing your savings on the amount of booze it takes to get you on the stage.  You can’t beat the price, the convenience of mobility will earn you limitless brownie points within the social stratosphere, and ultimately you’ll be saving a majestic, beautiful species of water mammals who if they could, would sing right along with you.


2 Comments

Posted by Teresa 18. December 2009 at 1:15 pm :

Hey Dan – Great article – for those interested in the karaoke app – it’s on iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/ca/app/the-karaoke-channel-mobile-iphone/id334259050?mt=8

Posted by Madonna 21. December 2009 at 12:13 pm :

Well if it will save the whales, then I’ll download a copy!

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