Failed/Cringeworthy Celebrity Music Crossovers
When a celebrity gives up something that he or she gets paid millions to do, in order to pursue what they feel could be their “true” calling, music, most of the population cringes. Digging through these videos was like sitting through a horror movie that I couldn’t keep my eyes off of. Guaranteed to drop jaws, these are just some of the celebrities-gone-musicians that are awkwardly amazing in their own right.
In 1998, Joe Pesci announced his retirement from acting to pursue a musical career. This song is off the album Vincent Laguardia Gambini: Sings Just For You. Forgive me if I don’t oblige.
In addition to “acting” and aikido, Seagal also plays the guitar (picking with his thumb) and has a rather honey-sweet voice. Not only that, his songs have been featured in several of his movies…
Billy Bob Thorton
Unlike many people on this list, Billy Bob has taken music very seriously. So seriously, in fact, that in a recent interview in Canada, Billy Bob became beligerant when an interviewer brought up his former acting career. In this interview he went on to insult Canadian fans resulting in Billy Bob & The Boxmasters having to cancel the rest of their Canadian tour when venue owners heard of his on air tirade.
Be Somebody… or Be Somebody’s Fool! was a 1984 motivational video hosted by Mr. T (from The A-Team) and distributed by MCA Home Video. Encouraging children to respect elders, avoid peer pressure, and build self-confidence- this was Mr. T’s Second album after Mr T’s Commandments.
In 2007, Kevin Costner filed an $8.5 million lawsuit against Mahee Worldwide Ventures Inc. (a music promotion company) for failing to help him kick-start a hit singing career. It’s okay Kevin Costner. You make wolves dance, and that’s what counts.
Band: Modern West
When he got tired of inserting his “Hedgehog” into the flowerbeds of porn stars, Ron Jeremy released rap single, Freak Of The Week featuring DJ Polo. It stayed on the Billboard charts for twenty-seven weeks, in 2007.
An Entertainment Weekly review on Shaq’s 1994 album said “If this b-ball superstar brought half the attitude to the mic that he brings to his movies and product plugs, his second album, Shaq Fu-Da Return, might have some zip”.
Macho Man Randy Savage
Some of you will thank me for making you aware that the Macho King Savage attempted a rapping career in 2003. Some of you will hate me, forever.
Another one who should have kept his balls in the court, this Kobe/Tyra duet was the title track for his album single K.O.B.E. in 2000.
Banks has appeared in several music videos, including Michael Jackson’s Black or White. In 2004, she recorded Shake Ya Body, a music video featuring the six final contestants on America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 2. It was as successful as it sounds.
Brian Austin Green
“Brian Green” began his rapping career in 1996, releasing one album, entitled One Stop Carnival. Starpulse.com called it the “quintessential misguided celebrity record – [...]pallid, uninspired, and insufferably arrogant, with no acknowledgment that its very existence rests solely on Green’s limited success as a secondary actor on a fading prime-time drama.” Ouch…
Party All the Time was produced by none other than Rick James, who also appears in the video. (Just in case anyone else was wondering if this was a Dave Chappelle sketch.)
Though album sales for her self-titled album Paris were low, there are many other things I hate more than this song. Quite catchy actually. Looked for it in my online karaoke library. In regards to the album as a whole a Guardian UK review says, “She sounds both distracted and bored stiff, as if making an album is keeping her from the more serious business of standing around a nightclub in a pair of really enormous sunglasses.”
Back in the 80’s, Bruce released an album called The Return of Bruno, promoted with a Spinal Tap-esque mockumentary. The hit song Respect Yourself was a team up with The Pointer Sisters.
Perhaps not an entirely failed music crossover, Bacon and his brother Michael have released six albums with their band, The Bacon Brothers.
Would this band really get any recognition if Keanu wasn’t the bassist?
Six of his albums have gone Platinum in Europe so, perhaps the Knight Rider bad boy/Baywatch hunk isn’t much of a failure at all. He also succeeds in epitomizing camp, so cringey he certainly is.
Though some take grim pleasure remembering scenes of Jared Leto getting his faced pulverized in Fight Club- Leto received an award for Breakthrough Crossover Artist at the 6th Annual Hollywood Life Awards, held in December 2006.
Band: 30 Seconds to Mars
Reports say that Casey Affleck has been tracking Joaquin Phoenix for a documentary (or perhaps mockumentary) he is directing about Phoenix’s emerging hip hop career. The first album is reportedly being produced by Sean “Diddy” Combs, though no release date has yet been revealed.
Lindsay’s first album Speak was pretty well regarded as a cash-in pap. Her second album, A Little More Personal (Raw) did manage to throw some daggers at Dad. She pulled out the “troubled child” card, but few bought into it.
Here are some reviews for Corey Feldman’s album Former Child Actor:
- A potent diatribe in the manacle of life
- The best metaphor to describe Mr. Feldmans work is cheese, this is the worst thing that has ever been committed to any recorded media. Please somebody rip my ears off so that I don’t have to suffer anymore…
- Help me I think i need a shower, I have been soiled! Where’s my mommy, I need a hug, the bad man won’t stop wailing!
Phillip Michael Thomas (Ricardo Tubbs)
Thomas appeared in numerous made-for-TV movies and advertisements for telephone psychic services, so naturally he went on to pursue a music career. His 1985 album entitled Living the Book of My Life, failed to produce a hit single and records sold poorly. Co-star Don Johnson’s album Heartbeat managed to pump out a top 5 single, but both albums are considered prime examples of the hubris of successful performers.
His role as Detective Sonny Crockett may have made him a star on Miami Vice- but his jump from TV star to recording artist was received quite poorly. Even despite some talented help on album Heartbeat, including Ron Wood, Willie Nelson, Barbara Streisand, Bonnie Raitt and Stevie Ray Vaughn.
The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins received an especially large amount of airplay when Peter Jackson’s The Lord of the Rings films were released. Nimoy released five albums of vocal recordings during his music career, his first album titled Mr. Spock’s Music From Outer Space, including Trek-related songs such as Highly Illogical.
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